5 Writing Lessons from Shakespeare: A Storyteller’s Guide to Keeping Your Audience Awake
With Real Examples from Someone Who Had to Keep the Groundlings Entertained
Writing tips from the guy who made Shakespeare in Love look good
Dear Fellow Scribblers,
As someone who's spent years trying to keep rowdy audiences awake (and dodge the occasional thrown tomato), I've learned a thing or two about keeping readers hooked. And no, it doesn't involve love potions or fairy magic – though I'll admit those do help.
1. Write Like You're Gossiping at the Market
Remember when Beatrice and Benedick couldn't stop insulting each other in "Much Ado About Nothing"? Their zingers worked because they sounded like real people trading barbs, not like they'd swallowed a dictionary.
True story: I once wrote a scene so pompous, the actor needed three breaths to finish one sentence. The audience started taking bets on whether he'd pass out before reaching the period. Lesson learned: write like you talk, not like you're trying to impress your old Latin teacher.
2. Hook 'Em Fast (Before They Wander Off to the Bear-Baiting)
In "Twelfth Night," I opened with a shipwreck and a girl dressing as a boy. Why? Because "It was a pleasant Tuesday in Illyria" puts people to sleep faster than one of Puck's potions.
Remember: You're competing with TikTok now, not just bear-baiting. Though honestly, the bears were tough competition.
3. Keep It Snappy (Like Kate's Comebacks)
Have you seen how I wrote the banter between Kate and Petruchio in "The Taming of the Shrew"? Short. Quick. Punchy. Like a verbal tennis match.
Long paragraphs are like Malvolio's yellow stockings – they make everyone uncomfortable and nobody wants to look at them for too long.
4. Show, Don't Tell (A Lesson from the Comics)
Instead of writing "Malvolio was pompous," I had him strut around in yellow cross-gartered stockings, smiling so hard he probably pulled a facial muscle. That's showing, not telling.
Think of it this way: Would you rather I tell you "Sir Toby was drunk," or show him singing off-key at 3 AM while trying to duel a lamppost?
5. Edit Like There's a Groundling With a Rotten Tomato
You know what made "Comedy of Errors" work? Not my first draft, I'll tell you that. I cut enough material to write another play (coming soon: "Comedy of Even More Errors"?).
When editing, be as ruthless as Sir Toby Belch raiding Sir Andrew's wine cellar. If a line doesn't serve the story, out it goes – no matter how clever you think that pun is.
The Final Curtain
Good writing is like a well-performed play: it looks effortless, but there's a lot of work behind the scenes. And if all else fails, you can always add twins. Trust me, audiences love twins.
Remember: Shakespeare didn't become "Shakespeare" by being boring. Though the fancy collar helped.
Break a quill!
Will S.
About the Author: Will Shakespeare is a working writer from Stratford-upon-Avon who occasionally moonlights as a theatrical entrepreneur. His hobbies include making up words, writing sonnets about mysterious dark-haired beauties, and avoiding paying his taxes. His latest comedy "Much Ado About Writing Tips" is currently not selling out at the Globe Theatre.
Disclaimer: No twins were confused in the making of this article. Results may vary. Side effects may include spontaneous iambic pentameter and an inexplicable desire to name your children Peaseblossom or Bottom.